Parental Guidance

Unconditional love is about giving all and holding hands always with no regrets. =)

I have been missing in action for a while. So I posted this to give readers a new direction of my future posts and change of theme. This post is inspired by the million of writing 25 random thoughts in Facebook and I have just written mine after Valentine day.

25 Random Tots – Jimmy Boh

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. (Qualifier: Only when you feel bored, alone, feel like typing non-stop aimlessly)

Here it goes…

1. I am now recovering from flu, which leads me to count the number of times I am down with any virus and it led to on average I only fall sick at most 3 times annually. So i guess the next flu would be around May. The reason i guess is maybe due to the natural antibodies I had built up will expire around then. By the way, I don like taking panadol or flu medicine as I believe it will decrease my immune resistance. (Scientists and doctors, help me prove my hypothesis)

2. On a second thought, maybe the reason I don like to take medicine was because I was into too much drugs in my past history. Google "jimmy boh" and you know why.

3. I never did like and have not attended the 7pm classes and the summer modules (Sat morn to noon for 6 hours) when I was in SMU. But now I am going to do them in an advanced dip course next week. Yea, I am going back to SMU to study. Can I consider myself a fifth year senior?

4. I like to network. Or rather I like to help people I know or link them up for any kind of reasons. Looking for jobs, lobangs, looking for good vendors, contractors, teachers, or even matchmake. May I matchmake myself? Oki that a random joke.

5. I am in the alumni exco. Partly because of my desire to be serve my friends I have made while in SMU and hopefully I can still connect to them when I am 50 years old.. I think they would be 40 plus by then. By the way, the new university lounge is cool. Got free coffee, mocha, latte, mocha. Can play pool and futsal. Don forget to play the Wii and watch cable tv. Mon-Fri 9am-10pm, sat sun i think it is opened from 9am till 6pm.

6. I have a blog. Intially, back then in 2006, I set a theme of writing posts with an inspirationally mischevious theme. I am running out of topics and I seemed to be repeating myself in new posts. So I do not know what to do with it. Should I revent with a new theme? Like writing a novel and each post entails a chapter with readers giving suggestions to the next? Woo sounds exciting. Then what kind of novel should I write? I am thinking of a thriller with crime sex and passion. Haha. Oh yea, my blog add is jimmy.boh.spaces.live.com

7. I think I am a romantic person. I written my first love letter on Valentine day to my late mother when I was 10 years old. That was when I first knew about valentine day. I think I got the idea from some TV programmes and the message is to appreciate the ones I love, and not the lovers' kind of message. I remembered cutting the drawing board white paper into half, took out my crayons and drooled a woman holding a boy's hands. I think there are the standard sun, birds and a tree. And the message was "Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine Day, Mummy! I love you forever." I miss her.

8. Oki, 7 does not meaningfully support my premise of "I think I am a romantic person." I have written love letters to gals I am or was attracted to. My first ones were also during primary school years, it was kind of sweet to reminisce now. But I think i was remembered for being a mischevious terror in class rather than a romantic boy. Haha. To meaningfully support my premise, I have also written some (oki I am modest) to .... (due to privacy controls, the content is censored. =)

9. My childhood hobbies ranged from playing marbles, climbing up and jumping down from carpark walls, kicking ball in the void deck when I am in HDB, in primary school, I tried everything from one legged catching, zero point and five stones and I loved the school band, the practise hours keep me occupied because I just don like to study. Most of my sec school years I spent my time playing with my freestyle bike which I spent 650 bucks ( I went to work as a caddie to save up for this bike). Yup I got no cca during secondary school because they do not have a freestyle cycling club. I am in named a Gardening Society member. =P I love nature but indifferent towards gardening.

10. I got my motorbike licence when I was 17. I got my first bike, A Yamaha one seater 200cc bike. Two weeks later, I got into my first accident. I was racing with a scrambler and I refuse to let go thottler nearing the corner when the scrambler let go. And I cannot do the bend with that speed and thus... i threw my bike and rolled rolled . I had injuries on my knees and shin. Worst injury is .... oki, I shall described as I walked like a duck for two weeks. =P

11. I drive an old toyota now. Yup with four wheels. And no more angst about racing.

12. I had my first cigarette when I was 17. It was Marlboro red. My first drink was Martell Cordon Bleu. I don like Gin and most probably tequila ( I don like shots but love long island tea). But I have grown to love voka. All these was done when I worked as a nightclub waiter when I was 16 turning 17.

13. For those who do not know me well, yup, I spent 5 and half years in prison for peddling marijuana. A transformative and enlightening 5 and half years though. I think the most peaceful years I had was in prison.

14. I love poker. The reason why because of all the psychology about it. You may wan to bluff a hand but you got to know whether you would be able to pull it off, by understanding various factors, like opponents still in the game, their likelihood of cards (this need understanding of betting patterns), their historical streak till that hand, their chips left, and their natural inclination to call every hand. Another thing is that you may feel lucky and wan to try your luck against another by gambling and raise or call all in. This you would also have to understand the best chances. Though you would not survive long if yo do this more than too often. Anyone game for a session soon?

15. I like coffee. I usually tapou one from Coffee and Toast on my way to work, another one during lunch. I would take tea in the afternoon, stopping myself from too much coffee because at dinner I would have another one.

16. I like drinking. Yup I got a belly. But since have gone down after less drinking to like once a month and been going to gyms quite recently. And will be going for more gym since I am a fifth year senior now. haha.

17. Since SMU, I learnt to open up more about my past. I think I am oki now, meaning my inferiority complex is gone.

18. I have a premonition that if I don get married by 38, (I am 34 this year), I will be a swinging bachleor for the rest of my life. Actually it sounds good. Oops. But I do yearn to becoming a good father to my children if that really happens. Oki I will also be a loving and responsible husband.

19. I am planning for a good old revamp cum renovation of my 3 room HDB flat where me and my father lives. So I have to start saving now. My friend already agreed to help me design. Woo. (Thanks in adv, if you are reading!!)

20. I getting tired of typing 25 random things. Where got so many random things to rantle about? Oki, my dream holiday is to Japan around Mar and April where all the sakura petals would be floating around. I first saw them when I was in Canada Vancouver on a study exchange. I also wanted to experience the Nippon culture. So I guess the trip will be at least a month stay over there at some guest house or friend place.

21. I tried snowboarding when I was in Vancouver. Been to Whistler, Grouse and I miss snowboarding.

22. I want to travel the whole world. But I guess I will only complete that when I am in crutches. But rest assured I will do it.

23. I have more than a thousand contacts in facebook and msn. I do try to make small talk with them on msn if I can actually remember their nick or email addresses. I also kept my old nick "SMUgging Marathon" hoping people will remember me and talk to me. haha. Maybe I should try harder.

24. I lost my mum when I was 24 years one month and 20 days old. Gonna be 10 years anniversary soon.

25. Woah, I guess the last would be thinking of putting this 25 into my blog. And thanks for staying with me till now. Cheers.

My elder brother added a 26th:

26th - injured your head when young and see doc and got bandaged, told to rest then injured again the 2nd day crawling under the drain and hospitalised with more bandage and "ordered" to stay overnight to prevent 3rd injury...

No regrets

Jimmy

Parental Guidance

Caution: The tides are coming in after reading this. Cast your net.

It is a cloudy Sunday afternoon. I am sitting along the rocky coastline writing this at Marina South as I watched people fishing and casting their nets, patiently waiting for their prize of the day.

It is peaceful, hearing the clashes of the waves coming against the rocks as I pondered over what is the prize of my day. It had been a long while ever since I took out my brother’s bicycle out for a ride. I paddled to Marina South and to a gulp of saliva, it had changed enormously, or rather in a process of a big change. Everywhere on the road were little granite pebbles, probably littered by the lorries and trucks plowing the multitude of construction sites there. Marina South is soon to be transformed into the so called “New Downtown”. I had wanted to go to Marina Park where there is a little exercise corner with pull up bars for me to play with, and I was blocked by high metal planks and a sign “under construction for a new park”. Marina South is changing, places are all changing, and we will also change. The only motivation is that we hope the change is for a better morning sun to come.

I have just started on my career, although at a ripe age of thirty-three, the first day of work was a day of exuberated elation. I am now able to do what I like doing and not shrink and shudder when I wanted to think and dream of a better tomorrow. I truly felt I am living my second chance at life. I am also glad at the bigger picture of things that had changed are the general perceptions on exconvicts had evolved to be more forgiving. The sun looks bigger now.

People constantly grumbled over bread and butter issues like repaying debts, insurance premiums, flat mortgages and eerily, it was like a manifestation of a showering redemption to me to be able to shoulder these responsibilities to come. Or rather I felt I found back my long lost dignity. Now I could make my father happy by giving him some hundreds every month, I would save some to indulge in my own investment plan, and of course to save up for marriage and future kids to come if I do find a dream gal to lavish all my love upon the family.

The waves are still clashing against the rocks and I saw some happy “fishermen” giggling over their prizes of the day. Not big fishes but is still a happy catch. The sun will be brighter tomorrow.

Live for tomorrow

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Warning: Do not be too Extreme after reading this.

I have just turned thirty-three a few hours earlier. The unbelief that time really zoomed through space leaving nobody noticing any trace unless one take some precious moments to stop whatever mundane businesses of these world to stop and look deeply at those paths that had been walked and many turns that one about to take.

Many say that life is full of ups and downs, well, I would add my past life was full of extreme ups and extreme downs. With both parents working, I have extreme freedom since I was a kid, and I spent a free happy childhood with my two brothers playing “catching and hide and seek”, marbles, climbing bars and walls of carparks, playing soccer with the aim to smash someone’s shopfront, graduating to freestyle cycling with my younger brother. Those were the extreme happy times, only ended with an extreme down time where I experienced a first death of a cycling buddy we had. Till now, I still remembered his eyes.

School was a chore then when I wanted to grow up quickly and earn some money. However, as problematic as I was, like being punished for dirty shoes, “ponteng” to earn some bucks as a golf caddie, and an incident which smeared my heart and indented my mentality then to swerve more towards to extreme, I always managed to handle the subjects well and finished the O levels. Maybe this point would be the turn before the extreme downward drop started.

The spiral started when I worked in a nightclub then while waiting for Os. I had my first drink, a brandy, first cigarette, Marlboro and gamble, though I was not very keen then. I got into Poly, but not for long, the poly or me become a soccer ball that got kicked out for not attending lessons and exams. “What the use of studying anyway?” was the voice that kept banging my head then.

Eventually, this wayward kid went down a path to a looming dungeon. All known, weed was the key that opened a life of careless living that turned into a police and thief game where the police always win. Faced with the opening doors of the dungeon life, I held my sunken heart hoping it would be the end of the extreme down.

Every inmate knew that there were two things that would bring you to the lowest dungeons. One is falling sick and die in there or someone you loved decided to leave this world without a chance to say goodbye. I touched that walls of that dungeon and stayed there for many months before I could actually see a little light forward. I love my mum.

The light guide me to self-study in there and eventually got a dream place in SMUgging Marathon. I wondered what kept me going throughout the marathon, it was a sense of hunger or maybe the survival instinct bred in the dungeons, of me wanting a better tomorrow where I did not even dare to think of during the fugitive years. I was living a dream.

I crossed the finishing line of SMUgging Marathon and now about to start on a career. A good friend said that I had come a full journey home, though a long one climbing away from the deepest dungeons since. I am extremely happy.

Paths taken are your guide to choose the turns before you. Some looks easy like a straight road to heaven, some need to climb over huge mountains, but you never know which one is the right one to happiness. It is easy to turn back for the familiarity of the past but you know you cannot just stop and stand there and let time zoom away. You got to take a turn.

So on this fine day that I am thirty three, I realized that I need to feel hungry again, to be hungry for finding paths and turns that would make me smile when I looked back and say to myself, “ it was all worth it”, unlike those times looking back would meant silent tears. I need to plan and start dreaming again. The light would always be my guide.

Happy Birthday to me.

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Warning: You would want to say hello to someone today. Say it.

One important aspect of a successful recovery to a reformed life is to have new and healthy circles of friends. However, for an ex-convict to make new friends is not easy. The stigma and stereotypes shadowing one excon would have inhibit him to keep the past to himself and this would not help in blossoming friendship where one cannot open up and strike a stronger bond with people he started to know. It would require a strong belief in oneself that as long as you are sincere towards people and taking a brave step forward in sharing an awful past trustingly hoping for acceptance.

Thus, remembering that one of my goals in SMUgging Marathon is to bump into as many new people as possible and hoping to strike new friendships and acquaintances. Though a bit unsure during the first year on how to elaborate on reasons why a student like me, numerous years older than the others, ended up doing a degree in SMU. I had two approaches, if I do not initially knew the person in class, usually I avoid the question or let them jump to their conclusions, while hoping for a better chance to elaborate when they get to know me better in future. Or if they are my classmates or friends of classmates, they would have known bits and pieces from my earlier sharing with others.

Things got better when I became a public figure in school with Wong’s published column and it became easier to make acquaintances and friends, knowing that I come clean about my past to the world and it is up to them to see and judge on dealing with their perceptions. I am glad that most of them are so accepting and through the 4 years of SMUgging Marathon, I made tons of friendship, if not at least I tried to make small talk whenever I meet people, and tried to recall names that I have noted. Feeling a bit guilty that sometimes I just forgotten names and tried to avoid saying their names while in conversation. For those who know me now, you understood why sometimes, I shouted “hey hey” instead of your name.

The internet was new to me in 2003 when I just got released and instant messaging applications just amazed me as a superb medium to stay connected to people. It was a better way than getting people’s numbers because of reasons that it seemed a bit weird to sms people you just knew with a “hihi” or “hello” but absolutely fine in instant messaging when it would be interpreted as wanting to spend time chatting. As years goes by, I also realized people change numbers more often than they changed their email addresses. Thus, whenever I met new people, I tend to always get their msn addresses rather than phone numbers unless I do find a need to call them for other matters. Unashamedly, I have over a thousand contacts in my MSN list over the years but a tinge of guilt plagued me over my efforts to chat with most of them. To add, I have also a facebook account, a social networking application where one can stay connected to people too. And I believe facebook should be the most suitable application than MSN and it allows more than just instant messaging, and include posting of pics and write notes like my blog.

I get to meet new friends in class, projects, CCAs, being a teacher assistant and school events like camps. I would love to pay tribute to them in this post.

Classmates and projects mates in my years. Learning from you, the younger ones have taught me new flexibility, both in learning and character, and subduing my past into an edge of experience to be imparted in our learning journey. I hoped you have gained as much as I have from you people.

People I encountered in the many camps and events I have participated, numerous to name but wonderful people you are. Fun is something elusive unless we have put down all things in this mundane world and get into an alien mode that shoots bursts of laughter and tears. We all had fun and the world.

Being in the SMU Student’s Association EXCO is the most memorable stint in SMUgging Marathon. I had made lasting friendships not only with the EXCO and council and also with many in other CCAs. I wish I had been of great service to you all during my term and hoped I do not owe you any more unprocessed claims.

I have been a teacher assistant for Prof Tan Teck Meng for 3 years and it involved me providing consultation for his students, my school mates. I have learnt as much as you could have when I tried creative ways of explanation and hope my tips were useful. Financial Acccounting is the language of business and hope you would not hate FA, just remember “What you have plus what you borrowed = what you buy”, “What you sell minus what you pay = your Hongbao money”.

In recognition of all the professors that I had the honour to learn from, be it I was your best or worst student, you all have made a mark on my new life and I seek to remember you by striving for the best always.

To end SMUgging Marathon with a finale, I have joined the Graduation Nite committee as Programme Head and I hope I would make a terrific evening for this new and healthy circle of friends I have.

Loves

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Warning: You would feel going to the Gardens after this, remember to wear a hat as it would be a sunny day.

This post is solely dedicated to the SMU Graduating Class of 2008.

I have just spent my last week of classes in SMU. There were mixed feelings brewing in me during the week. The relief knowing that I have finally finished my 38 modules for BBM and BACC, all the research, meetings, presentations, reports, but at least got 2 more examinations to mug. The unwillingness to face the reality of that multitude of blossomed friendships made at Bukit Timah Campus then to come at a nearing junction of separation to our unique endeavours in which all memories might fade in oblivion as many new years would fly pass. This week I saw my friends all started clicking “farewell’ poses all around school hoping to capture many memorable moments digitally acknowledging all that is known when we would eventually pass the juncture.

There is a common bond in us where we have all studied in the vintage Bukit Timah Campus, the former National Institute of Education, (NIE), next to the beautiful Botanic Gardens and the National Sports Centre. We simply love the old campus. I remembered everyday I would take the MRT to Newton and catch a short bus journey and alight after the Stadium. I would walk, if I am not usually late for class, through botanic gardens, the long path, counting around 8 wooden benches before I reached the back of Food Haven. Cutting through the little bamboos, Food Haven is just a nice place for me to grab a coffee from the over friendly “gay uncle”. Walking up the spiral staircase towards that bridge to House #1, I always remembered there were always hellos and crap talk to make before I can reach Biz Block. I would take the stairs to level 2 because I just cannot understand why I need the lift where everyone would be cramming.

There used to be a saying that the Information Systems people were in their own world, not because they communicate in an alien language, but their school were in that corner and it takes a 7 mins walk down Federal Staircase, an ulu pathway down before you reach the haunted Red Door Gallery where Symphonia played their music to soothe the lost souls. However, the GSRs there were the favourite hangouts for overnight cramming, just that the female toilets are acclaimed to be haunted too by the “noises”. Or maybe the gals are too imaginative. I did spent some nights there too, and even slept alone in Red Door as it would be too troublesome to go back and wake up and travel for 830 class.

The library was my hangout after class where I would just try to chop a cubicle seat, the same wooden cubicles used now in level 4 LKS library. Usually I would Zzz for awhile before I start my smugging marathon cramming. The printer is at the top level 4 or level 1 and it is still 5 cents per copy. We had only about six free computer terminals behind the printer then incomparable to what we have now. If I need a break, I would just walk out of the library and sit in one of the tables along the pathway, although usually already taken, to chat with people or just to stone and enjoy viewing lower quad between Mannaseh Meyer and Oei Tiong Ham. Sometimes there would be people having little picnic there, usually some gals, or the Frisbee people would throw around their Frisbee. Of course the upper quad is the place where many events took place and it would be such a joy at week 13 to just lie down on the grass at night and take a sip of breath and the stars.

Though the campus is small, we have a small gym too at Block A manned by Fred as always. I did not eventually made muscles there but did made many new friends there pumping. It was always a nice routine to pump and later take a short walk to the free Olympic pool we could use at the Sports Centre. Maybe I should not mention I hang my wet trunks on the door of my Biz block locker which I think most of the guys did.

The night before SMUVE is the Closing Time concert in the library. We always remembered the song sang by Jamial, “Love for Bukit Timah” at the concert. We all spent our last night over there, not mentioning some crazy stuff we did with “fire extinguishers and souvenirs” , we did had a hell of a good year with Bukit Timah Campus. Especially now we are approaching yet another juncture of our lives, we the Class of 2008 had survived these years and will continue to make a mark in our own right. We will be remembered by each and celebrated in the years to come and pass. Long Live Class 2008!

Friends Forever

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Caution: You might fall down after reading this. Just get up again.

Today I had a meeting with a guy who found me thru this blog. This guy is no ordinary guy. His profile can be found on www.glennlim.net. The moment I saw him, there is this charismatic aura emanating from him that put you at ease with extending a warmest hello handshake to him. Well, we are in talks about forming a new “gang”, yeah no joke, a “gang” of excons, regardless of race, language and religion, so as to achieve a common goal. The goal of banding up our life stories to impart values to the youth so they would not tred through the vicious cycle of our follied past.

“Falling down is part of the whole recovery process.”

We talked about a lot of things, particularly on how we had coped with our reintegration or the so called recovery process. Based on his wide experience in counseling with young excons, I have gained a valuable insight on what is deemed a successful recovery or a true breakthrough from the “second prison”. He shared about some of his mentorees falling backwards and how these mentorees managed to pick themselves up before falling deeper. I guessed it would be the avenue to open up to a counselor that led to effective self reflection that would have made stronger the recovering ex-con. Although it is not the one and only crucial factors, as I believe one can only decide for himself, so it would still depends much on the individual strength and commitment to stay on track.

I have read cases in the papers of how one commit the same crime again and again. Besides known psychological causes of kleptomania, an urge to steal, or the irresistible temptation of drug use, other crimes like lack of self control in emotions that led to fights and even manslaughter, in which often are moments of folly, the law has tried to prevent or stop by meteing out deterrent sentences. Just a cure of the symptoms of the failed recovery. I believe more so that now to help those in recovery, is to equip them with a new skill of heightened “self-awareness”. This heightened “self awareness” could be like a voice recorder that kept messages that will constantly remind one to keep on the right track and in times of dangerous moments, it will keep pumping message like, “Stop it, you know you are entering the cycle again, it is a trap to prevent you from being carefree and happy.” And it will get louder and louder till you decide to stop whatever that you are about to do wrong.

I think it is applicable to any one, not only ex-convicts, especially in todays’ context of a looming economic downturn. Most often than not, one commit crime because of the S-eleven sign. Quarrels over past personal loans that led to fights, to the scandals of trusted persons embezzling funds from their clients, their motives mostly will be motivated by the temptation of being in better economic condition than before. With an economic downturn, $$ will be tight and many would have think of trying for the fast buck rationalizing that the consequences is secondary. I am definitely not condoning one using the downturn for their crimes, but I would certainly hope that the self awareness of one would be heightened at this stage, knowing that it would not be forever before the good times will come again and bring smiles to everyone to laugh off the tough times one had been through.

I am definitely excited about the upcoming “gang” collaboration with Glenn Lim. With my past experiences in workshops with youth at risks and prison inmates, I guess it would be a synergistic partnership with him and other like minded excons that will certainly now create a huge impact on the youths, for the betterment of the society.

Stop it before it is too late.

Cherish your freedom

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Caution: You might need some solitude after reading this. Go find a quiet place.

It is the end of the year again and the time for New Year Resolutions. As I sat down and try to think of mine, nostalgic reminiscence brought me back to old resolutions I have made in the years inside. Being in for a long time to go did not really leave much for one to hope towards for, but there is no doubt one yearned for that better tomorrow as each day passed.

Every month we were issued two letter forms, one at beginning of the month and the other at mid month. I would use the latter one to write a letter back home stating my 101 new resolutions to my family. How often we have conveniently taken for granted the care and love showered by our dearest family members. My first resolution then is always to reassure my beloved family that I would take good care of myself while serving time and let me be the last of the worries they should have in their minds outside there staking a life for themselves. Not only this, I see as a goal to be the love giver of the family by showering them with my words regularly in my mushy letters back.

I wrote this post in tribute to my loved ones at this time of the year to remember the past yet most important new year resolution.

To Naggy Father. Always touched when you made the long journey down to visit me and it pained me to see you aged as the years passed and missed out on time at home enjoying your neverending nags. You never failed to show your love in Tapous for me while I am smugging away in the room, and I finally learnt to appreciate the simple things I could have. Stay naggy always and I am your best fan for your hokkein songs.

To Ego Elder Bro. Always reassured that you be there to hold the family. I missed the past bickering we had when we were kids. Am glad you finally trust me that I can make it out on my own again and bring pride to the family again. You can lift your head high because Jimmy BOH is your brother. Don’t worry, I will still continue to argue with you.

To Tender Younger Bro. Always feel warmth when you came down to visit. We are best buddies since young, had our adventures together, and I would give everything to live the childhood again. Am glad that you have settled down now and I will still shower you with all my love.

To Two Sweet Sis-in-law. Always fortunate to have you in our macho family. Thanks for being supportive of my brothers and accepting this wayward brother of them. But it is the best thing you could have for making that important decision. I will continue to be your dearest brother-in-law showering loads of love! Hugs.

To Beloved Mum-in-heaven. I know you can see me always. I love you. Be happy.

I just shed some tears and whatever I have gone through felt like a long journey home. Everything happens for a reason and I have just made a new resolution, not exactly new, it is the same first resolution every year since the years I spent inside. Love my family with all my heart.

The most important resolution is usually the same every year.

Love yourself

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Be Warned: You may feel like finding that old radio that you have thrown away after reading this.

I am listening to the radio and it was playing the song Hotel California and brought back some memories in there. The world is missing something if there is no music. Music can be defined as the product from our heart and souls. We like to listen to music whenever we feel like it and for some it is like a necessity to accompany you through the day.

It is the same in the prison. Our heart and soul are crushed but the remnants yearn for a hope of a better tomorrow. Music helps to put the pieces together and make us whole again.

We sing whenever we feel like it. We would hum songs from our era, be it the 70s 80s or 90s. Well, I do love Hokkein, a Chinese dialect, songs a lot. Cantonese is also popular but mandarin is the universal top favourite. Usually, we would sing in our cells, our superstar voices would travel throughout the corridor and sometimes we just laugh at some superstars who ought to sing somewhere else than be appreciated by the lowly audience in there and ask him to just shut up because his chords is just too soothing for our ears.

We would write out lyrics of songs and collate them in small exercise books. Usually we would pass the song books around to whoever need the lyrics of a particular song. Or rather to satisfy the peculiar hobby of wanting to collect the lyrics of every song. The few ways to get the lyrics is of course asking one whom knew the song to cough out the words and if one cannot really remember the whole song, we could put the puzzle in place when we got another new bird who remembered the song. We do have recorded tv programmes and one of our favourite one is the MTV. We would watch the MTV and one could ask for the video controller to pause and write down the lyrics. This is the only way where one could get the latest Mandarin pop.

The only musical instruments we have in there was the guitar and you bet that we did have guitarists who would be fit to perform in pub gigs. Every Yard time, you would see someone twittering away on the guitar and as you gather near there, you could see the others singing and accompanying the music mimicking different mock drums. It was such an entertainment as I always love to just stay near enough to indulge in the music, be it known we were not supposed to gather more than 4 in the yard, it is also illegal assembly in there too.

As I now continue to indulge myself with songs from the radio, this simple joy of being able to on the radio and let the music soothe my day is now the greatest blessing I could have.

Your song will live forever with you.

Cherish your Freedom

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Cautioned: You might decide to splurge on Greetings Cards after reading this. Do it.

It is the start of the holiday season again in Singapore. I could still remember vividly how the holidays affected the life in there as mentioned in previous postings. The pangs of loneliness and homesick were already numbed after a year or two in there and replaced by a new feeling of relief that yet another season is going to pass and one less more to go before the day of freedom comes.

I just received another letter from my best buddy in there. He has transferred to the Prison School already and starting his Alevel studies next year. I felt glad for him that he is making good use of his remaining time in there. I would only see him when I am 38 years old which is 6 years more to go. A moment of folly could take a lifetime of consequences.

He moaned about not receiving letters from me after I came back from Canada and made me feel kind of guilty. Well, while one is inside there, your only contacts with the current world are newspapers, the wardens and officers, relatives, the newbies and of course, buddies like me who continue to show love and friendship in words. I recalled whenever the Yard IC collects the letters from the warden, he will shout out to those who got letters. I would happily snatch the letters from him and smiled at the letters. I would knew it would be my cousin who also loved writing, and family members and maybe a couple of good friends who would be the senders. They would comment on my previous mushy letters and it would feel so heartening that someone still appreciated the tiny existence of a lonely being in an obscure corner of Singapore. I bet he would also be yearning for letters of love from his family and friends during this holiday season. I would say it is a form of encouragement to keep going and keep up the good work in preparing for the new life new beginning.

He, being mischievous like me, pestered me to ask some of my new female friends to write to him, claiming the prolonged lack of a female conversation would put him in danger of a syndrome, called “G syndrome”, in which one would be subconsciously and gradually becomes permanently sexually inclined to the same sex. Of course, I laughed at it always. I have once asked a few of my school mates to send Christmas cards to him and that made him jumped and he persistently asked for more! Haha.

Well, I am calling out to female readers of my blog, if you were kind enough to spend a dollar on a card this Christmas and New Year, my buddy would certainly love one. Just write a quote from the bible and say God Bless would be more than enough to make him jump and maybe keep him sane. Cheers.

It takes a lifetime to find a friend.

Pls send a card (no photographs, no sexy pics) to:-

Koh Chiang Meng aka Jabez

L44269-98

Kaki Bukit Centre

10 Kaki Bukit Centre Ave 5

Singapore 417902

Cherish Your Freedom

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

 Caution: You might change your job after reading this. That is the wrong feeling. Trust me.

It had been a long while since I get down to writing a decent piece of work and the end of examinations of my second last semester in SMU has instigated me to treat my blog site better, not to mention many of my readers, have been bugging me about the overdue postings.

Many of my school mates have been suffering from headaches about job seeking. This semester is the recruitment period for final year undergrads. So there is lots of recruitment talks by all the banks and companies in SMU. Subsequently, there were the craze about submitting resumes, amending resume to suit the job applications, taking pre-interview psychometric tests online and even at prescribed centers. They were all excited about being called for interviews and yet became gloomy to face further tests like case studies and cheemer psychometric tests. It is a fact that only a few would be selected for the their headcount requirements and some got depressed over many turndowns and endless waiting for that results of their numerous applications, if they ever came.

Well, it is a total different story for the high flyers whereby they simply had to reschedule time and again their numerous selected interviews and having headaches over which offer to choose and finding time to write diplomatic rejection emails to the other offers. One of my buddy rejected all the offers and decided to continue study at the Masters level. He got a scholarship.

As for myself, I got to serve a bond, which I found it rather reassuring and fortunate compared to many of my school mates. I would find the applications more difficult than anyone else due to my past. Firstly, it would be my resume. I do not have any “achievements” in my primary and secondary school years, unless you qualify the number of successful pranks on teachers and classmates, which I might have topped, or maybe truancy records. Maybe I could claim some talent in numbers when I receive a token for topping mathematics in my primary school.

Or I can claim some sports talent when I refused to join any cca in secondary school when my school did not have any freestyle cycling club. I loved to do stunts on my BMX and in fact my younger brother and I were so into the sports that we earned enough money, yup at the age of 13 by working as golf caddies in a country club during weekends, to buy ourselves a decent freestyle BMX. My BMX “GT Tour” costs me about 800 bucks which is a bomb during my era. It cost a bomb because I bought the parts separately and fix the bike up. Every part must be my choice. I can fix up a bicycle in 10 mins from scratch. Oh, enough said about my childhood love.

Or I can claimed to being a Singapore Poly student for, hmm, I guessed 4 months, before I was removed or the crude word is “sacked” for failing exams and absence from most of the lessons. Well, the rest would be history about my ending up in Prison.

If I were being selected for the job interview and asked to fill up the application form, there is this column, “Are you convicted in any offence in Singapore, If yes, State reasons.” Since my release, I have decided to be all opened about my past in order to stake out a new life. I have thought all about it when I was inside and decided it was the only way out of the second prison. (Pls refer to previous postings for reasons) I would have to state, “Yes, I have been convicted for Drug Trafficking and Consumption and sentenced to 8 years and 5 strokes and serve time from July 1998 to Nov 2003.” I would write a declaration letter stating my renewed self and commitment. Maybe I could support with some achievements I have made in SMU. It meant that my resume would be a short one with a letter and some articles about me.

Then the consideration of the barriers is also real. HR policies is meant to safeguard against employing the wrong people. If they were to employ an ex-convict, I guess it would be an exception and has to be justified on the circumstances surrounding the application.

However, I do not mean for people like me to be discouraged. For my future employer is a good example. They scrutinized my past through numerous interviews during the scholarship and might had assessed me to be of good character now with the determination to succeed upon my graduation. I am glad they granted a scholarship with a 2 year bond, placing high confidence in my future. Maybe I just apply a Chinese phrase about being given a second chance.

“定要饮水思源，不可忘恩负义.”

Go for it if you believe you are up to it.

Dead end is only imaginary.

Jimmy BOH

Parental Guidance

Caution: Reading this might lead you to be a reality show addict.

It has been a year since I started this blog. I started blogging because I wanted to continue this hobby of writing that I have cultivated during my incarcerated years. Also, I was partly influenced by some interesting blogs that I have read, especially those controversially popular ones.

After a few initial postings, I started to theme my blog posts around my new life, blessings, struggles that I, as well as many similar ex-convicts faced. One reason was it would rejuvenate my mind and keep my motivation going. I also hope that my blog would be able to influence the public stereotypes of ex-convicts, letting people know that there are a certain proportion of us, ex-convicts, trying to carve out a better life for ourselves and our loved ones, if we can, for the betterment of the society. Ex-convicts who read my blog would hopefully be assured that they are not alone.

Celebrating the first anniversary of Jimmy BOH – New Life New Beginning, this blog was visited 3000 times as of now, so it worked around 8 visits per day. Relatively tiny compared to the popular blogs, I would still like to thank those who have spent time browsing through my posts. May your life be even more blessed than me.

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned about taking the outright option of declaring to society that you are an ex-convict and staking out a new life would be a wise choice and certainly would positively influence the public stereotype that ex-convicts are unstable and most likely to fall back to crime if one is tempted. A year has passed; I have seen articles in newspapers and magazines about ex-convicts doing good in life. Some even have their pictures on them as well, I have kept those who I knew personally while serving time.

Recently, I watched a channel U program called “有话敢敢说” hosted by Quan Yifeng and Xu Zhenrong, a programme whereby there would be a public debate between a invited panelists and 2 well known Chinese guys and the public, full of uncles and aunties are sometimes invited to give their precious heartland views.

The topic of the day was “Is our society forgiving towards ex-convicts?” Issues like ex-convicts’ difficulties in getting a job, unstable ones falling back to crime discourages potential bosses to employ them are highly debated. Should employers put their businesses at risk by employing them or should benevolence beget profits? Well, an employer came out to say 50% of his employees in a car washing company are ex-cons. He admitted employing them do have some inherent issues like settling their family economic problems, some falling back but he is happy to see the others doing well and led a stable life. Then he confessed that he is also an ex-con! The main reason he is doing this was because when he first stepped into ultimate freedom, he do have difficulty finding a job and he was finally employed as a grasscutter. His life was difficult but he stuck to what he could have and be contented. His friends witnessed his transformation and trusted him enough again to fork some capital for him to start a car washing business.

The gift of a second chance was also touched on. There was a guy named “Jackie” who volunteered to come on stage and share his testimony. He remembered when he was still in there, his wife nearly divorced him because she had given up on him. When he was near his release, he remembered his wife saying to him, “All I wanted you to do is to be a father and bring up the kids.” He came out and he knew he had to regain the trust from his beloved wife again. He worked hard and finally got capital to start a company and even got it listed! His belief is that the first step to freedom is to forgive yourself before asking others. If you cannot even forgive yourself, how would you pick up your life again? After his brave testimony on TV, which I truly admire, Quan Yifeng shed some tears and mentioned about some of her past struggles when she too, an ex-con, faced when she first came out.

The other panelists shared about the hard reality about society towards and when one of them, an elderly uncle who voiced harshly that drug traffickers should never be forgiven. This has caused a little hurt to me in the sense that I understand I have done something grave in the past and I am trying all my very best to atone and I am living with regrets for my all life and yet now I known some people is not going to forgive forever. I truly hope the yellow ribbon project, been on for a few years now, would see fruits in the next generation.

Forgive yourself and you’ll be freed to a new life.

Cherish your freedom

Jimmy BOH 

Parental Guidance

Be Warned: Don’t break the rules or you would be on the wrong side of the coast.

Alcatraz is about 30 mins cruise away from SF coast. As I board the cruise, I try to imagine myself as an convict being hauled up the ship doomed to incarceration on an island for a long long time. The seagulls flying freely above me seemed to be mocking loudly at me with their screeching laughs. The tiny island getting bigger and bigger as the ship approached. I could see colonies of seagulls and other birds parking all over the rocks of Alcatraz perimeters.

I got on the island. The huge words, “U.S Penitentiary” stared back at me at the main gate. A lighthouse seemed to be guarding the main gate like a warrior at the frontline of a war zone. The guide started his introduction of the island and the brief history of the use of Alcatraz. Well, I was more excited about seeing the inside of the cell block and see for myself how different it was from where I had lived in Singapore Tanah Merah Prison, than to listen to what the guide rattered on about the struggle of American native Indians.

The cell block is a long rectangular building about 4 storeys high situated on the tip of the small island. As I entered the grille gates of the cell block, the familiar feeling of living in the prison just crept up and flashes of scenes like walking in a straight line towards my cell for lock up, the noisy flapping of our slippers, squatting down outside my cell before the warden open the cell door for me, just keep erupting in my nostalgic brain. The Alcatraz cells are built in two rows of three storey cells, four sides equivalent, so there are two sides facing each other and one side on each facing the walls of the cell block.  

The two rows of cells facing each other is called the Broadway. I could imagine back then the inmates in the cell were enjoying themselves shouting across to their fellow inmates on the other side, jabbing at each other, and maybe like in Prison Break, throwing toilet rolls down to Broadway creating a mayhem in the whole cell block. Maybe they were allowed freedom of moving around Broadway for a few hours a day to mingle and walk into each other cells to play chess or music.

All the cells in Alcatraz are single. Staying alone has its good and bad depending on the inmate. For those who really need conversations to pass the day, staying alone is quite detrimental to the mental health of these inmates. Talking to someone is a kind of counseling therapy for the incarcerated soul. I did see a fair share of inmates going cranky after a while although many of them are due to the lost of freedom and dignity rather than staying alone.

A way to keep sanity of mind is to have entertainment. They have the usual games as in other prisons, like books and chess. One interesting privilege they have is this thing called Music Hour when they could indulge in playing their musical instruments and home made drums and sing. Ironically, this hour was used by some infamous inmates to hide the noise they made when they dug out a hole back in their cell for an infamous escape back in 1960s. It was made into a movie starring Cliff Eastwood.

Their yard was a small one about the size of a basketball court down a flight of stairs besides the cell block. The inmates were probably sunbathing under the San Francisco sun, looking towards the San Francisco coast reflecting on how life would be so different if they were not on the wrong side of the coast. There was a famous inmate called the Birdman of Alcatraz, he was probably talking to his fleet of seagulls and doves during yard time.

There are quite a number of escape attempts but I believe only two brothers who were in the Music Hour plot made it. This is in spite of the U.S trying to put out strong theories that they would not have survived the swim in the freezing seas of San Francisco. I tried to imagine their faces when they reached the shores. Both were looking at each other and smiled.

After this Alcatraz experience, I guessed that prisons do serve a purpose, be it good or bad. Most probably, it would be a life changing one, either for the better or the worst. But definitely it is never the end.

Cherish Your Freedom

Jimmy BOH

Jimmy BOH

Caution: Reading this will cause you to move house

When i was looking for a suitable place to live for the next four and half months after arrival in Vancouver, the only thing is that I need the rent to be affordable to me as I am on a shoestring budget. Next is that I hope there would be campus hostels available as I like to laze on bed till it is really time for school and to my delight, UBC have a lot of it. There are a number of choices like Totem, Place Varnier and lastly the one I chose Walter Gage Residence. It cost me around 2700 sing dollars so it is around 600 dollars per month which is quite alright as the cost of living in Canada is quite high.

Living alone on my own was not a new thing to me as I already sort of lived alone since 17, not to mention the time I spent living in a cell with two other people for over four and half years. To the bare minimum, all I needed is actually a little corner!! Well, since I am paying this time, I hope there would be a bed. W.Gage Residence is like heaven to me!!

When I first arrived from the airport, getting on a cab to 5959 Student Union Boulevard, Walter Gage Residence, Vancouver B.C Canada V6t 1K2, (Mailbox 309, Pls send a card to me =P ), my excited eyes was taking all the details of the ride down, crossing the bridge from the airport to arriving in UBC and finally reaching the doorsteps of W.Gage. It was raining at the time and I had to pull my large luggage up to the reception. I was one day earlier for check in and the staff sort of told me I had to pay an extra 25 bucks for checking in early. So be it. I was really fatigued after over 23 hours of traveling more than half the globe.

As I took the lift up to 13th floor, I slotted in my card key and keyed in my password. I have to key in for my room too. That was cool as it had some sense of security of my belongings. I opened the door. Woo, it was like a little hotel room to me like the ones I had lived before in Geylang when I was on the run in my heydays. There was a huge clothes cabinet, a medium size drawer, a study table, a table lamp, mounted on shelves, and lastly a comfortable single bed. I love the room.

Going out to the common lounge, the first thing I noticed is the balcony!! Cool! I love balconies. The view of the straits is nice but there were construction around W.Gage which I think the view would be significantly compromised. There are a TV too, common kitchen with 4 electric stoves and 2 big fridges! I started to wonder already what can I do in the kitchen! I love to cook stuff, a hobby I had picked up since my release. Cooking is a marvelous therapy for the soul.

However, just 5 minutes later I just layed on the bed on slept. On my new bed.

The next morning I met my new roomies coming back for the new school term. They are all cool Chinese and they love gaming!

I have posted some nice pics of my apartment and the views from my balcony including a rainbow I saw recently! So Awesome.

A dream have come true for me. Travel.

Cherish your freedom

Jimmy BOH

Beware: Reading this will make you fly 

I have tried to book my airticket to Vancouver. Initially I tried to go thru the travel agent in our school. I had tough luck as it was a peak period I guessed. I only got flight from US to Vancouver, Tokyo to US but no flights to Tokyo from the agent. I waited for like 3 weeks and I started panicking. In the end, with the help of my good Korean friend, I decided to go online to book my air fare. I got a round trip from NWA, but at a dear cost. Cost me about 2437 sin dollars!! So painful in my pockets, I am on tight budget.

The next fun would be my luggage. I can only bring two checked-in luggage not above 23 kilos. I packed one luggage and I weighed, it was 32 kilos! I took the stuff out and put it in another smaller bag. In the end i have a large luggage and a smaller bag and a hand carry with all my electronic stuff and lap top.

At the airport, it was blissful to have friends and family to send me off on my first adventure! During the check-in, at a split moment, I was expecting the customs to question my background when they looked and checked my passport. I assumed there would be some electronic marking or alike that I am an ex-trafficker. Luckily they only did the routine stuff like what did I put in my luggage, any liquids in my handcarry and dangerous weapons like guns! My luggage was checked in. I loitered around for an hour with family and friends and I waved goodbye to them and walked through the gates and boarded the Airbus! 

My heart is pumping when the airbus started it engines. My heartbeats seemed to vibrate with the engines, revving up the excitment as I await for my flight to the skies! A first in my life is about to be fulfilled. I remembered as the airbus turned on its turbo, as it floated above the runway, I felt a lift off my back onto the seat. The feeling is so exhilarating. As i sat by the window, I watched Changi Airport getting smaller and smaller. The airbus burst into the clouds and I discovered there are two layers of clouds formations. There is a lower one with dispersed clouds and a upper one where the clouds looked like a carpet of cotton wool laden for me to sleep on! I felt so high.

After 31 years of living in a small island, I am on my way to a foreign land. It was a great feeling I had and maybe a tinge of regret too as I should have done this many years ago if I were not the person I was before wasting my life away. It is better late than never and fortunately I do feel like a 25 year old anyway! 

After more than 6 hours of flight, the Airbus was going to land at Narita Airport, Tokyo. During the descent, I had a weird feeling that the aircraft is not going to land safely. My ears felt a pain as if something was trying to squeeze my eardrums out. I panicked for a moment but I still put my head to the window and watched the landing. “Thud” the wheels touched the ground and the captain announced, “Welcome to Narita Airport!”

I strolled around Narita and tried to look for the nice Udon that my Korean friend asked me to try. Too bad time was not on my side, I had only an hour to spare before the next flight, minus the boarding time, I had only half an hour! I just bought some chocolates from the duty free shop and boarded the next flight to San Francisco.

It was a long 9 hours flight. I thought I have eaten like 3 meals on board, maybe two meals and some snacks. It was dark and everyone was trying to catch some sleep while I stoned away reading stuff of UBC and tried to do some writing. 

It was a long time before the Airbus landed at San Francisco Airport. I walked down the plane and go to the queue through the US customs. At this moment, I was thinking would I be faced with unnecessary questions again about my background. I assumed that all ex-drug convicts would have a record in US too. Well, I did not. I merely said I was on a transit.

I actually went out of the airport to smell the air of San Francisco! Saw white doves flying around and the first time I know the feeling of freedom. To live and experience the world in harmony! 

It was a long two and half hour strolling around airport and it was quite small. I ate a smoke beef sandwich and got to use my US notes. Finally I boarded the flight to Vancouver!

It was a short one around 50 mins. I landed at Vancouver! This time I did not assume anything with the Canadian immigration. I gave them my acceptance letter and got through. I am in Canada!

Freedom of choice is to not to choose freely without consideration.

To be continued

Loves

Jimmy BOH

Jimmy BOH